Online Play Resources

Places for Online Play

Popular Options

  • IM/Email
  • Kik
  • Skype
  • Fetlife
      • Fet Chat
    • Online Playmates” 50K allows ISO
    • See also various roleplay and fandom groups
  • Discord

ISO/Connections/Ideas

Owned by a subsidiary of the toy company Bad Dragon, F-List was originally aimed at the Furry Community, but is a great resource for all online-focused kink.  You can make a giant checklist of your preferences here and share it with others.  

MMORPG/Avatar Based

Review of the Best Massively Multiplayer Online Sex Games

✪ SecondlifeEditor’s Choice – Though it still supports vanilla play and activities, SL survives as a heavily kink and sex driven multiplayer environment.  The world takes a little time and investment to break into, but it exceeds the other sex MMORPGs by an order of magnitude in terms of population and option.  Search Groups to get an idea of what is available.  The power of SL is user designed content, which means if anyone has ever fetishized it, someone built it.  Expect to pay between $20 and 50 to buy user-generated enhancements for your avatar, but there’s no monthly fee unless you choose to pay, and there are better deals inworld.   Secondlife Tutorials

3DXChat – five years old with some options for editing and building, decent sex positions, some kink, and a decent nightly population.  $9.99 a month gets you a decent avatar with a house and access to most locations.  The world is geared towards sex, and there seem to be plenty of options.  It has limitations but it looks decent visually and is easy to get up and running.  Note that changing your name or buying a new avatar costs money.

Yareel– the basic avatars are adequate, but this is a purchase driven environment that clearly wants you to drop some change on looking desirable.  Overall it seems functional and reasonably well patronized, but it’s not “free” in the meaningful sense.

Conan Exiles – has servers dedicated to Power Exchange, and supports actual sex through mods.  The game is “straight” so there’s not a lot of publicity about the sex elements. Conan Exiles and Conan Exiles PC on Fetlife were active about a year ago and might provide pointers. 

  • Red Light Center
  • Chathouse 3D Roulette
  • Sociolotron

Encrypted Chat

  • Whats app
  • Telegram
  • Wickr Me
  • Dust
  • Signal
  • Apple iMessage

 

 

Toys

Reviews

Long distance and Haptic Sex Toys.  Haptic touch is what we used to call teledildonics. 

Virtual Reality

BaDoink VR has a free tool for couples
 

 
 

 

Solo Play

Reviews

Videogames where players can have sex 
Sex games 2020 

Games

  • Witcher
  • Mass Effect (same sex)
  • Dragon Age (same sex)
  • God of War (no visuals)
  • Grand Theft Auto (hot coffee shows clothed sex)
  • Heavy Rain
  • Farenheit
  • The Sims (mods)

Art/Aesthetics

User Content Based Porn

Sites where individual users are able to sell content directly

 

Negotiation Checklist/Guide for Consensual Erotic Hypnosis

Sample Negotiation Checklist/Guide

Not certain about Consent?  Check out our Consent Handout.

Here we have attempted to bring together all the potential questions that we’ve discussed. All of the questions may not be relevant to a given encounter, but this should give you a resource for making sure that you’ve covered most of the bases.

 

Partner Questions

What is your level of experience with hypnosis?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What is your level of experience with (any other kink elements)?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What do you hope/want to get out of this scene?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What emotions or feelings do you want to get out of this scene?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What physical sensations (if any) do you want to get out of this scene?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Whitelist items – What things should definitely be in the scene?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Known triggers (e.g. rape, blood, dogs, cold) to avoid in hypnotic scenes

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Limits. What things should definitely not happen

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Off limits body parts/areas

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Injuries/Issues

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Health concerns (including allergies to latex/lube if relevant)

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Have you ever had any problems with things you were told or asked

to do in a hypnotic state carrying over into your waking life?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Safeword/Caution Words

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Safe Signs

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What do abreactions look like (if known)

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What should we do if there is a major abreaction

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

What sort of aftercare will we do

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Safety/Emergency Contact

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Non Hypnosis

This isn’t intended to be a full checklist of all the non-hypnosis things that require consent.  It is intended to be a quick guide to handle some of the most common non-hypnosis elements that require negotiation.  

☐ Can I touch you?

☐ Erogenous touch

Where is it okay?

☐ Under the clothes?

☐ Can clothes come off?

Sexual touch

Masturbation ☐ give ☐ receive

Oral ☐ give ☐ receive

Genital ☐ give ☐ receive

Anything else…anal, etc.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Kink

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

During Hypnosis

☐ Description of sexual acts

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

☐ Erotic Stimulation

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Suggestions/Whitelist – things your partner wants suggested

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Suggestions about yourself?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Control suggestions?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Post hypnotic suggestions and triggers?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Permission for

☐ Eroticization

☐ Orgasm triggers

☐ Arousal triggers,

☐ Any public arousal triggers?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Roleplay scenes

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Taboo areas open to investigation

__________________________________________________________________________________________

Information regarding experiences, taste , touch sensations

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Anything else?

____________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Hypnosis Resources

Welcome to our attempt to keep an updated list of hypnosis groups, forums, discussions, books, and other resources

Our Book  

Mastering Erotic Hypnosis: A Comprehensive Manual for Erotic Play, Fetish, and Kink – learn more about it here!
We do think our book is an excellent resource, so if you haven’t already gotten a copy, we’d recommend it.

Consent Handout – the consent handout used in many of our classes, condensed from the book.  

Negotiation Checklist/Guide – a sample negotiation checklist and guide, condensed from the book

Other books  

Mind Play: A Guide to Erotic Hypnosis and The Mind Play Study Guide by Mark Wiseman The first hypnosis books written expressly for the kink community. In mundane life Wiseguy is a professional hypnotist, a teacher of professional hypnotists, and an avid woodworker. – https://www.amazon.com/Mark-Wiseman/e/B00DTZUZGM/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Hypnosis laws

Index of state laws regarding hypnosis provided by Hypnotherapists Union Local 472, ACLU – http://www.hypnotherapistsunion.org/statelaws

Hypnosis and Hypnotherapy instruction

Hypnosis Motivation Institute, Burbank California – If you have been motivated by reading this to learn more about hypnosis, we recommend both HMI’s free online course, and their paid hypnotherapy distance learning and residence programs.- https://hypnosis.edu/

Mental health

Kink Aware Providers List maintained by National Coalition for Sexual Freedom – https://www.ncsfreedom.org/key-programs/kink-aware-professionals-59776

Kink resources

Power Exchange

The Heart of Dominance: a guide to practicing consensual dominance  by Anton Fulmen – An excellent modern reference on the core of D/s dynamics – https://www.amazon.com/Heart-Dominance-practicing-consensual-dominance-ebook/dp/B01F8C7L2Y

VMAP  Video Mastery and Power Exchange – by James Gordon & Rebecca Doll – https://www.youtube.com/modernpowerexchange

Coaching by Kali  – Female Domination and other specialities – Princess Kali  http://www.coachingbykali.com

Bondage Safety

Remedial Ropes  by Shay and Stefanos Tiziano – https://www.remedialropes.com/

General BDSM and fetish

Kink  University – presented by Kink.com – https://www.kink.com/channel/kinkuniversity

Kink Academy – https://www.kinkacademy.com

Domestic abuse

National Center on Domestic and Sexual Violence – www.ncdsv.org

 National Domestic Violence Hotline – https://www.thehotline.org

The Laundry List

Graphic of Laundry machine with towels in colors of various pride flags, and title caption "The Laundry List" For Power Exchange Negotation

Negotiation of a Power Exchange is not primarily about negotiating for BDSM play, but a frightening number of books present it that way.   Below we’re going to  present a laundry list of things that can and should be negotiated.  While we’ll go into this in more detail later, understand these are things to work through in the first few weeks or months of a relationship, not something to try and hammer out in advance or in one sitting.

In this PDF The Laundry List we discuss, at length, the potential areas for negotiation in a Power Exchange Relationship.

We’re trying not to take anything for granted.  If your relationship is online, long distance, developing out of an existing marriage, part of a rigidly organized M/s Household, or taking place on a remote farmstead in South Dakota, all of these things may not apply to you.  Focus on the ones that do, and give a second thought before you dismiss the ones that don’t seem immediately applicable. “I don’t care” is a fine answer, but basic disagreements about the nature of the relationship are one of the most common sources of problems and failure.

While the Master has final say on the rules, the submissive has final say about whether or not they wish to be in a relationship…and the ethical principal of informed consent says it’s not okay to trap them at the outset, then expect them to agree to whatever suits the Master with no regard for their own needs.

Obviously while Master may have the “right” to do anything, that doesn’t make it a good idea.  It is amazing how this very obvious fact gets overlooked.  A farmer (in some states) may have the legal right to shoot their cattle in the middle of a field and leave them to rot.  But that does not give them protection from the ensuing bankruptcy as their source of income is lost.  You can be cruel or arbitrary to your slave.  But your partner in power exchange can leave the relationship¸ or become so problematic that they do not actually contribute anything positive to your wellbeing.

While we don’t recommend anyone get into a relationship that can’t meet their basic needs, how inflexible you can afford to be as a Master may have a lot to do with the length of the line of prospective candidates queued up outside your door.