Rebecca Doll

James Gordon & Rebecca Doll are partners who share membership in the House of Artemisia.

Rebecca enjoys being pretty and pleasing. As an extreme exhibitionist pain slut, she loves being put through her paces publicly. Still, physicality is not the core of her interests. Most of her work focuses on exploring the more twisted desires of the human mind, putting her M.Ed. to use understanding the human needs for control, violence, and self-destruction.

The Laundry List

Graphic of Laundry machine with towels in colors of various pride flags, and title caption "The Laundry List" For Power Exchange Negotation

Negotiation of a Power Exchange is not primarily about negotiating for BDSM play, but a frightening number of books present it that way.   Below we’re going to  present a laundry list of things that can and should be negotiated.  While we’ll go into this in more detail later, understand these are things to work through in the first few weeks or months of a relationship, not something to try and hammer out in advance or in one sitting.

In this PDF The Laundry List we discuss, at length, the potential areas for negotiation in a Power Exchange Relationship.

We’re trying not to take anything for granted.  If your relationship is online, long distance, developing out of an existing marriage, part of a rigidly organized M/s Household, or taking place on a remote farmstead in South Dakota, all of these things may not apply to you.  Focus on the ones that do, and give a second thought before you dismiss the ones that don’t seem immediately applicable. “I don’t care” is a fine answer, but basic disagreements about the nature of the relationship are one of the most common sources of problems and failure.

While the Master has final say on the rules, the submissive has final say about whether or not they wish to be in a relationship…and the ethical principal of informed consent says it’s not okay to trap them at the outset, then expect them to agree to whatever suits the Master with no regard for their own needs.

Obviously while Master may have the “right” to do anything, that doesn’t make it a good idea.  It is amazing how this very obvious fact gets overlooked.  A farmer (in some states) may have the legal right to shoot their cattle in the middle of a field and leave them to rot.  But that does not give them protection from the ensuing bankruptcy as their source of income is lost.  You can be cruel or arbitrary to your slave.  But your partner in power exchange can leave the relationship¸ or become so problematic that they do not actually contribute anything positive to your wellbeing.

While we don’t recommend anyone get into a relationship that can’t meet their basic needs, how inflexible you can afford to be as a Master may have a lot to do with the length of the line of prospective candidates queued up outside your door.

 

VMAP – Needs in Power Exchange Pt 2

In this episode, we tackle more provocative questions.

Is there a basic Image Capture from Episode - shows title.need that drives us to cheating?
How does resentment undermine relationships?
What about “needs” like being hurt or humiliated?

The second of two parts, we continue to explore how needs; not collars, cuffs, slave positions, or chains; are focal to Power Exchange relationships.

Read moreVMAP – Needs in Power Exchange Pt 2

VMAP – Power Exchange Lifestyle Discussion

Featured Image VMAP 1 FMVideo Mastery and Power Exchange: Fetching Mettle 1 – Introduction Followup and QA

James Gordon and Rebecca Doll provide an introduction to how to build lasting Master/slave, Mistress/slave, Dominant/submissive and other lifestyle dynamics.

VMAP Fetching Mettle is our biweekly “informal” episode, where we catch up on questions and share bonus material which didn’t make it into past videos, either because there wasn’t time, or it didn’t quite fit the overall flow.

In this week’s Fetching Mettle we learn

* A little more about James’ and Rebecca’s qualifications and background
* The real truth about “True Mastery” and “True Slavery”
* Can someone serve two masters?

Read moreVMAP – Power Exchange Lifestyle Discussion

VMAP – Mastery and Power Exchange Introduction

VMAP Episode 1 - Introduction
VMAP Episode 1 – Introduction

James Gordon and Rebecca Doll provide an introduction to how to build lasting Master/slave, Mistress/slave, Dominant/submissive and other lifestyle dynamics.

VMAP is an educational project of Modern Power Exchange which focuses on a healthy, consensual, scientific, sex-positive approach to Power Exchange in human relationships.

Not a course on BDSM or sex, VMAP is focused on people who may have seen Fifty Shades of Grey or other media, but don’t know how to bridge the gap between fiction and a real lifestyle, as well as those who already practice Power Exchange and want help making it work better.

In our introduction we focus on:
* Myths about Power Exchange
* Terms that people who practice power exchange actually use
* A big pitfall that wrecks many Power Exchange relationships

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Looking for VMAP elsewhere on the Internet?
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ComprehensiveMastery
Twitter: https://twitter.com/ModPwrXchange

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HELP – feel that your relationship may involve non-consensual abuse? Get Help!

We recommend:

National Human Trafficking Resource Center
1-888-373-7888
http://www.traffickingresourcecenter.org/get-help

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Home – The Hotline


1-800-799-7233

Consensually involved in Power Exchange but experiencing non-consensual abuse?

Kink-aware Victim Services
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=https://ncsfreedom.org/images/stories/pdfs/Consent%20Counts/CC_Docs_New_011513/Kink%20Aware%20Victim%20Services.pdf

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Being discriminated against because of a Power Exchange relationship?

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
https://www.ncsfreedom.org/

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References in this Episode:

Dancer, P. L., P. J. Kleinplatz, et al. (2006). “24/7 SM slavery.” J Homosex 50(2-3): 81-101.
http://www.researchgate.net/publication/6980475_247_SM_slavery

Fisher, H. E. (2009). Why him? why her? : finding real love by understanding your personality type. New York, H. Holt.
https://books.google.com/books/about/Why_Him_Why_Her.html?id=tNT6ERmW2h0C&hl=en

Bartels, A. and S. Zeki (2000). “The neural basis of romantic love.” Neuroreport 11(17): 3829-3834.
https://docs.google.com/viewer?url=http://www.vislab.ucl.ac.uk/pdf/NeuralBasisOfLove.pdf

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Images Provided by:
Veer
Cartoon Solutions
Thinkstock
pond5
Dover
Library of Congress
Metropolitan Museum of Art OASC

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Music Provided by:
Smartsound